Sunday, August 24, 2008

husband dream team update

James Franco! Woo!

That's all for now.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

W(s)OTD - jaunty & fudgesicle

Jaunty is the word of the day today because it describes my state of mind - why, I have felt positively jaunty since I left the post office this morning! Let me tell you why.

I, ladies, gentlemen, and those who prefer not to define themselves, which I think is totally cool, infinitely preferable, and the future of self-identification anyway, am going to be a gazillionaire. Yes, that's right. I am now a self-employed amazon.com mogul. The next Donald Trump, only with a far fiercer coiffure. What is this brilliant scheme, you may wonder? Well, I'll tell you that, too. I am now engaged in the business of peddling the remnants of the five-and-a-half-year bachelor's degree (i.e., battered heaps of formerly overpriced obscure novels). I have been in business exactly twenty-four hours and have had three sales. Three! After amazon.com deducted its appalling commission, I made, like, six dollars! Don't laugh; that's more money than I've brought in in over a year. Ryan is practically peeing himself with delight over my newfound self-sufficiency.

Okay, I also had a return today. A minor setback, though. It's not my fault the customer didn't know Beloved from Song of Solomon. Always a good idea to pay careful attention to one's syllabus, kids. All Oprah books are not precisely the same thing.

So when I mailed my first two sales (and my future first return), I left the post office with a swing in my step only a self-employed business owner knows. The hobo outside the post office greeted me brightly, with a "Hello, ma'am, how are you?" He didn't ask me for any money. He just thought, "Now there's a lady with the world all laid out before her. Why, I think I'll start MY own business, too!" And I'll just bet you he loitered a bit more jauntily for the rest of the day.

Note to self - must get cap to wear at rakish angle on jaunty days. The only thing that slightly dampened my mood was my lack of a good cap on my noggin.

On to the second WOTD - fudgesicle. Fudgesicle is the (other) WOTD because fudgesicles are delicious, and that's good enough for me.

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Homework assignment - Use both WsOTD in a sentence.

"Why, when I realized that these fudgsicles were sugar-free/fat-free, I jauntily helped myself to the whole box!"