Thursday, November 20, 2008

wedding chronicles, part II - The Other Shower

OMG, guys!! I almost forgot to include this.........
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So I sent an invitation to The Groom's mother, even though she lives out of state because that is just One Of Those Things You Do To Be Polite. It makes people feel included. It is also a sort of Miss Manners CYA thing. Obviously she wouldn't be coming, but she still called to RSVP (as polite people tend to do).

Mom-in-law was just so pleasant and sweet. We chatted for 10 minutes or so, about this and that. She said, "Oh, I just think this is so sweeeeeet. I mean, I never thought Groom would get married, and I'm sure you never thought Briiiiiiiide would get married, ha-ha!"

Teehehehehehehehe, I adore this lady already. I chuckled in lieu of a "no comment" and mentally looked forward to the days when I am older and can get away with saying whatever the hell I want.

So she asked if she could send a gift for The Bride to my house, and if I'd deliver it to the party. I said sure.

"Well, I'm just gonna have to think of something a little creative for them," she said. "I sure won't be getting them any towels, ha-ha!"

"Hah...hah...?" I said.

"Well, they have enough of those, you know!" she said.

"Oh," I said, confused. "I didn't know."

"Oh, they got all those towels! Someone gave them a ton of towels. Were you not at The Other Shower?" she asked.

WHAT THE FUCK? I quickly shuffled through my mind for any vague memory of another shower, or any reason there could have been another shower I didn't know about. Could it have been in Mom-in-law's state? Nah, then she'd know I wasn't there and wouldn't be asking.

"Oh, haha," I replied. "No, I couldn't make it unfortunately." I didn't want this nice lady to know she'd just let a gigantic, screeching, pissed-off cat out of a bag. In hindsight, I wonder if she clued me in on purpose, so I'd know just what kind of Bridezillary I was up against.

We wrapped up the conversation with pleasantries, and really I am looking forward to meet her. Aside from the fact that it'll be at this appalling wedding, of course.

Here are the things I want to know:

1) Whether this was an out of state shower, a family-only shower, or a surprise shower, why the fuck was I not informed? I have never heard of the MATRON of Honor not being invited to a shower, even if it's out of state and I couldn't go (see Miss Manners CYA, above).

2) Who the fuck that has a wedding with only about 30 total guests needs TWO SHOWERS?

3) Why the hell am I going to all this trouble and expense to throw her ass a shower when somebody already did?!?!?!?!?!

RARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

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