Sunday, June 21, 2009

Get Smart (or don't, whatever sells): a film review

I gave the movie Get Smart approximately half an hour of my life, and in that time it has taught me several things:

- Bumbling, inexperienced men tend to be more capable than highly trained experienced women.
- Women tend to let their emotions interfere with their professional lives and other trifles such as national security. This is a good reminder as to why a woman should never be President.
- Fat people are funny. Fat women are REALLY funny, especially when portrayed in situations where you would normally expect to see only thin women, such as being asked to dance, or wearing a fancy dress, oh my goodness! Hilarity!
- Deaf people are hilarious as well, especially when they try to speak vocally. Silly deaf people, always mispronouncing shit!
- Brown people in turbans are highly likely to be bad guys. Especially when they are on planes.
- It is EXTREMELY HILARIOUS when it appears that two men might be gay! Especially gay with each other!!! Because of course you would never expect a man, let alone TWO MEN WHO HAPPEN TO BE IN THE SAME PLACE, to be gay in the first place, so like, WHOA!

Lest we forget how hilarious and absurd fat people, gays, and women are, Hollywood is here to remind us by recycling all those comfortably familiar stereotypes. Thanks, Hollywood!

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VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!

Thank heavens I kept watching!! At the end of the movie, I also learned that it is totally funny to call grown men little girls!! Because as we all know, little girls turn into women, and what could POSSIBLY be worse than being a woman????? AHHAHAHAHAH!!!

*headdesk*

Saturday, June 6, 2009

predictive text

Words I have had to teach my phone:
  • bagels
  • burrito
  • fuck

Words my phone already knew:

  • Jesus
  • ass

quotes of the yesterday

"I can't sign no papers. I gotta be LEGIT in '09!!!"
-- Client

"And you know I know he tryin' to talk to her because he's doing how I do when I wanna hold her with no clothes on!"
-- Client's boyfriend